Editor’s Note: We wanted to offer this blog post to our community as a tool for managing life as we know it in this day and age, because things are so particularly difficult for so many of us right now. We ourselves here at KFH are diving deep into this notion of taking care, acknowledging the importance of prioritizing self care, because all of us are worthy of care and also because we wish to extend care to our families and communities. In writing this piece, so much came up about the intricacies of what taking care means. It brought up the question, what is wellness and who gets to define it? To assert that a certain kind of wellness applies to all people means falling into a trap of presuming that others share your exact needs, preferences, and capabilities. It is exactly this kind of oppressive attitude that social justice efforts are working to shine a light on and ultimately eliminate. And so, dear community, please do enjoy these thoughts on taking care from us here at KFH. Know that we are in a process of learning and unlearning, like all of us. And please, if you feel moved, offer your thoughts in the comments below so we may deepen and broaden the conversation around wellness and what it means to each of us as fully unique individuals.
If 2020 taught us anything, it’s that uncertainty is the new normal.
In addition to the hardships presented by COVID, the world as we know it is going through some hard and essential reckonings. As Charles Eisenstien puts it, we are in “the space between stories”. The old order is no longer acceptable. New stories are being written on many levels. One story in particular - one of interbeing and interconnection - is emerging to replace our false narrative of separation (from ourselves, from each other, from the natural world). We are living through a paradigm shift.
This is a very special, and indeed very challenging, time to be alive. Uncertainty and unrest is sure to continue as long as we are in this essential phase of shedding old narratives to grow into who we are meant to be.
As hard as it is, it’s imperative that we lean into this process. We do ourselves, and our communities, a tremendous benefit to learn how to feel it all and continue to show up, even (especially) when it’s uncomfortable, hard, and unknown.
To be able to do this, we must build our capacity to manage the intensity of our lives, of this lifetime in particular, and face the unknown with courage and resilience. As Dolly Parton puts it, “We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.” We simply must take care of ourselves if we are to navigate these stormy seas.
This is where self care comes into play. It’s a hot topic right now, but it’s not a fleeting trend. There are some really helpful and enduring elements here to consider.
Self care is the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health by one’s own standards, not society’s. It’s not passive or fixed. It’s a verb, and it exists on a continuum that we each get to define for ourselves.Through practice, we can each come to more fully understand our own unique definition of health, sharpening the tools and honing the methods that contribute most to our own wellness.
When misappropriated, self care becomes indulgent. When honest and intentional, it is restorative and encompasses the whole being: mind, body, and soul.
Self care becomes radical when you prioritize this practice over all else and adhere to it with unapologetic determination.
Radical self care means taking our worth and wellness into our own hands, which are constantly being sold to us in the form of productivity standards, endless consumption, magic pills, diet protocols, and the list goes on and on. We are all affected by this constant barrage. When we take control of our own self care, then we aren’t profitable, and we aren’t living in constant fear that our fundamental wellness can be taken away. And that is a very radical act, indeed.
It’s important to note that radical self care as a movement has origins in Black Activism, having deep roots in liberation and resistance in marginalized communities. Put best by the late activist Audre Lorde “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” In this sense, self care is correlated with survival in a society that routinely denies BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color) communities basic services and care. Waking up to and actively addressing this inequity is indeed one of the most monumental tasks of our time.
Radical self care has another dimension, too, based in getting back to the basics. The meaning of radical for many centuries was related to its origins radicalis meaning "root.” Instead of being something extreme, radical referred to getting to the root of the problem. So in that sense, radical self care is very much about building a solid foundation of wellness, on your own terms, from the ground up.
While we all have our own unique needs, there are at least 10 fundamental elements of self care that benefit many human beings:
Breathe: Our breath is our home. We can always come back to it to reground, connect, and refresh. Deep, cleansing belly breaths, breathing exercises, listening to our breath - is good for many people.
Sleep: It’s the ultimate mystery and still completely irreplaceable. Quality sleep improves literally everything in our lives.
Be nice to yourself: Think about how you would address others - coworkers, children, family, friends - when you encourage them and support them when they’re having a hard time. Now turn that onto yourself. Now give yourself a hug and say “I love you, self!”
Eat clean and nourishing foods: Touch your food, taste it, smell it, cook with it, learn about where it came from and who grew it. Share it with your friends and family (safely). This kind of connection nourishes at once our health and sense of place.
Move your body: Our bodies do so much for us and hold more than we know. Intentional movement every day goes a long way to help move through feelings, process experiences, and exercise our breath, organs, and muscles! So many things qualify as movement - chair dancing, walking, lifting weights, yoga, furiously cleaning your whole house - take your pick.
Feel it all: There is more evidence mounting to prove what ancient wisdom traditions and our intuition already knows - the only way to truly process our feelings is to move directly through them at your own pace. If this means canceling plans or changing things up sometimes, that’s ok. Let’s make this a normal and healthy thing to do. This also might mean that we need a guide, or many guides, to help us as we move through hard things within ourselves.
Get outside: Connect to Nature, feel the sun on your face, breathe in fresh air. Feeling the healing power of nature reminds us of our connection within the greater scheme, it reminds us of our collective interbeing.
Drink Water: We are 60 percent water and our blood is 90 percent water. Water literally is life (deepest gratitude for Indigenous Wisdom that is helping to expound this important fact). Drinking enough water leads to more energy, clear headedness, better digestion, and so much more. In a spiritual sense, water has memory and it has a lot to teach us.
Connect with others: When we are feeling down, it’s easy to isolate. And yet, our relationships are a significant source of vitality and happiness. This is another element of wellness known to us intuitively and now being proven through science. It’s harder these days, but we have tools to stay connected to friends, family and community. Call someone up, play cards via zoom, go for a walk with a friend. Our relationships are the heart of our wellbeing.
Set boundaries: The reality of our daily lives is we only have so much time and energy to give. If we take inventory on our lives, responsibilities, relationships, etc, we can prioritize those more important - and learn to say no to the rest (without guilt!).
Of course, to have a chance at focusing on these fundamentals, slowing down is absolutely essential in our face paced modern world. The disruptions that arose with the COVID pandemic have caused unconscionable harm, and there are also valuable lessons learned. The value of slowing down and generally doing less is perhaps one of the most profound among them that some of us have been privileged enough to be able to learn.
When things are in flux and largely uncertain, it can feel unsettling in many ways AND it can also be a profoundly hopeful time. It means things can change for the better. If we can learn to weather the storm, we can be available to help co-create a world that upholds our deepest, truest values.
To engage in radical self care means to embrace our own humanity. It means affirming our basic needs by actively prioritizing them, allowing the practice to bring us back to our inherent wholeness. In this place of wholeness, we can find so much latitude and strength. We can thrive amongst the uncertainty. We can show up with our fullest potential to the work and the joy, the breakdowns and the breakthroughs.
For those of you who want to save the world, we see you. We are you. And the truth is, it starts with each of us committing to saving ourselves.
Stay safe and be well, friends.
Here are a few resources and upcoming events to help us in our journey of Radical Self Care.
Connection
Shadows Fall North: A virtual screening of a documentary looking at Black History in New Hampshire, followed by a discussion. The wounds of racism must be tended to by all of us, and it has a particular effect on the food system. Please consider joining us and food system partners for this important event.
NOFA-NH Winter Conference: Connect and learn with the organic farming and gardening community in New Hampshire.
Movement
90 day challenge: sign up and follow along with the NH Moves 90 Day Winter challenge. More your body, however you like to, for 90
Nourishment
Find farm fresh, seasonal, and clean foods at Sweet Beet Market. Now open for online shopping & safe, curbside pickup.
Purchase a CSA share from a local farm - pay now and reap the benefits come the summer months! It’s an investment in small farms and your future self. Learn more about NH farms.
This piece was written by Hanna Flanders.